Have you ever taken a ride on the “rollercoaster of catastrophe?”

Does your brain ever take a small piece of information and quickly flash forward to a worst-case scenario that feels so real and so terrifying it takes your breath away?

Maybe you got an email from your boss at five o’clock on Friday asking you to meet her first thing Monday morning? Do you spend the weekend ruminating on every interaction you’ve had with her in the past month, wondering what the meeting could be about? Do you question every recent decision you have made or wonder if you made a huge error on the project that recently launched? By Sunday night, have you concluded that you’d best freshen up your resume since you’ve just worked your last day for this company only to find out on Monday morning that she just wanted to compliment you on the presentation you gave to the team Friday morning?

Whew! If you can relate, you too have probably taken a ride or two on the “rollercoaster of catastrophe.”

When I write about these scenarios involving other people, it’s easy for me to step back and see how quickly the brain can jump to the worst possible outcome, and to reign my thoughts back into a more measured perspective. However, when it comes to my own experiences, it’s not always so easy.

I’d love to share an example that happened just recently as I published my first book, I See You: A Guide for Women to Make More, Have More, and Be More – Without More Work.

When you publish a book, preorders for the book open a few months before the book is officially published or distributed to readers. I was surprised to learn that during this preorder stretch of time, which usually lasts about three months, I couldn’t access the online dashboard to see how many books were actually being sold. Those numbers weren’t available to me until the day the book was officially published.

During this time, I also engaged in a bit of fantasizing as so many people reached out and told me they had ordered their books and couldn’t wait to receive their copies. I picked a number of copies out of the sky (I have no previous experience in this world, so it was truly just made up!) that I imagined I would sell. Almost daily, I visualized opening my computer on the actual publishing date and seeing that number pop up on my computer screen. Every time I imagined it, I felt proud and excited, like a truly successful author. This was going to be great! I was going to break records! Weeks passed and high Amazon rankings during this stretch of time continued to reinforce my belief that thousands upon thousands of copies were being pre-ordered. What a rush! When the February day finally arrived when I could see the number of books that had actually sold, I nervously hopped on a call with a staff member at my publishing company to learn how to read all of the reports. About midway through the call, she opened the screen where I could see the actual number sold during preorders.

The number on the screen was about 1/3 of what I had expected it to be.

In that moment, my body responded as if I was in danger of an imminent attack. My heart raced wildly in my chest, and it felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. I’m pretty sure I stopped breathing and adrenaline coursed through my system. The disappointment that flowed from the top of my head to the tips of my toes in that moment felt like a wet, heavy blanket pressing down on me.

I didn’t hear anything else that helpful woman on that call said, though she continued to talk for some time. I was crushed.

After being abruptly kicked out of its perfectly crafted fantasy world, my very active brain then bought a ticket and took a wild ride on what I call the “rollercoaster of catastrophe.”

In this scenario, it sounded something like this:

• I should have never written this book.
• This entire thing was a bad idea.
• Everyone is going to know I failed.
• I wasn’t ready to be an author.
• What was I thinking investing all of this time and money in something that is a failure?

I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea.

Here’s an image of what this entire experience looked like.

My brain took me on a sweeping, hair-raising ride and dumped me out at the end exhausted and needing a break!

I wonder if your brain has ever taken you for a ride on the “rollercoaster of catastrophe?”

Have your expectations created fantasies in your mind?

Did those fantasies crash into reality and send you into a plunging spiral of catastrophic thinking? 

Thankfully, my story took an unexpected turn the next day when I was in the kitchen with my 18-year-old son, Anthony.  He asked me how the book sales looked since he knew I’d just gotten access to all of the numbers. I told him I was really disappointed, even crushed that the sales weren’t as high as I expected.  

He paused, cocked his head and looked at me with a perplexed expression and then said, “Mom, isn’t it just the second day?”

Ugh.  Yep. 

From the mouths of our 6 foot 5 tall babes.  Goodness.

It was like a switch flipped and I instantly realized that I could at any time unbuckle and get off of the rollercoaster. I was the one who purchased the ticket and hopped on after all.  

If this is resonating with you, I want to invite you to engage in the work I do with the Habit Finder. While my brain still occasionally takes a ride, I catch it so much sooner and I am able to redirect and get back to the millimeter steps that actually create the outcomes I want. I don’t wallow in scenarios that aren’t even real but that rob me of full presence in my life and work. I could never do this had I not had language to explain these habits of thinking and the awareness and capacity to choose a different thought.

The changes this has made in my relationships, my work and my income are staggering. They can be for you as well.  

Your first step?

Take the Habit Finder Assessment. It’s free and you can find it at www.amykemp.com under Habit Finder. The assessment provides a picture of what’s happening at a subconscious level in your brain. It’s fascinating.  

Take that first step. It’s time to get off the “rollercoaster of catastrophe” and into the creation of the life of your dreams!